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Exploring new places, engaging in novel experiences, and relaxing together as a couple is good for your relationship
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Summer is upon us. This means it’s time for many of us to indulge in some wanderlust and enjoy a much-needed vacation with our significant other.
In addition to being fun and exciting, exploring new places, engaging in novel experiences, and relaxing together as a couple is good for your relationship. According to data from the U.S. Travel Association, couples who regularly travel together are more satisfied with their relationships. In addition to stoking the flames of romance (who doesn’t love a good romp between the hotel sheets?) vacationing together can strengthen your bond as partners.
“Travel can definitely bring you closer as a couple. It gives you the chance to create special memories, try new things together, and see each other in new ways,” says Stephanie Webb, a travel expert and guide at Tripshepherd.
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A 2021 study found that couples who engaged in shared experiences during their vacations, such as open communication, showing affection, or experiencing new things together, reported higher levels of flexibility and cohesion following their trips.
However, travel with all its unpredictabilities can also be both a learning experience and a litmus test that provides insight into how well you work – or don’t work – together as a couple.
For those hoping to make the most of upcoming vacation time, I contacted relationship experts for their hot tips on navigating this busy travel season as a team. Here’s what they had to say.
1. Discuss expectations before you pack your bags.
A great couple’s trip begins with communication. Suzannah Weiss, resident sexologist for Biird and author of Subjectified: Becoming a Sexual Subject, says it’s important to discuss your travel expectations before you hit the road.
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She explains, “People differ in their travel styles, and this is one of the most common areas where couples clash. Make sure you have what you want to do in mind beforehand, but also leave enough free time on the trip so that you’re not stressed out trying to see everything you want to.”
To avoid overwhelm, Weiss says it can be helpful for each person to share their priorities and commit to doing at least 1-2 of them while travelling together.
Once you’ve discussed your travel preferences, get clear on your budget. “Money can be a big stressor, so agreeing on how much to spend on flights, hotels, food, and fun stuff is key,” says Webb.
Travel can be stressful, so don’t forget to discuss your worries and fears. “Whether it’s about flying, safety or just being away from home, knowing each other’s concerns can help you support one another,” says Webb.
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2. Communicate, communicate, communicate.
To have a successful and pleasurable travel experience, couples need to keep the lines of communication open.
“Spending some time each day to connect and share thoughts and needs can really make a difference. Be honest and truly listen to one another,” says Lisa Anderson, a licensed clinical social worker and clinical director of Brooks Healing Center.
Using “I” statements will help you have more productive conversations with each other. “For instance, instead of saying, ‘You always make us late,’ try saying, ‘I feel frustrated when we don’t stick to the schedule.’ This helps us express our feelings without placing blame on others, which can lead to better communication with our partner,” says Anderson. This can help prevent moments of conflict from blossoming into full-blown arguments.
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3. Remain open-minded and adaptable.
Not everything will go as planned while travelling – and that’s OK. Hiccups are expected, so don’t let one less-than-ideal moment ruin a trip.
Weiss encourages couples to go with the flow.
“Be a good travel partner by having a sense of humour and helping your partner feel comfortable when you run into problems. For instance, if your flight is late, offer to buy you and your partner some food at the airport, or put on a show you both can watch together,” she says. A lighthearted attitude can go a long way.
Weiss suggests, “If you lose something, make a joke about it and remember what’s important is having this time with your partner, not having everything go perfectly.”
Anderson says it’s important to compromise when necessary. “Plans may change unexpectedly due to new information or fatigue. Flexibility allows for compromise and reduces conflict between travel partners,” she says.
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4. Make space for solo time.
If you want to go shopping but your partner would rather sunbathe by the hotel pool, embrace these moments as an opportunity for solo exploration.
You don’t have to spend every moment together for the trip to be successful. Weiss says spending time apart while travelling can be healthy and suggests couples make space for it in their travel plans.
5. Frame travel as a learning experience that will help strengthen your bond.
Travel can help you get closer as a couple. To experience growth from travel, Webb suggests couples embrace teamwork.
“Travel requires a lot of cooperation and problem-solving, which can strengthen your bond. Use this time to learn more about each other’s likes, dislikes, strengths, and quirks,” she says.
Lastly, savour the moments. This includes the ups and downs of travelling together. “Whether it’s a stunning sunset or a silly mishap, these experiences can make your relationship even stronger,” says Webb.
When in doubt, Webb shares, “Be kind to each other, stay present, and enjoy the journey together.” Words to live by when you take your love on the road this summer.
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